School Days.. Part 3: tears and more tears

I told you about the bus pick up...

I told you about choosing to send him 3 days a week...

well, i haven't yet told you how he did going to school.

oh my.

well, the bus was a challenge for the first week or two.

tears every time he thought about the bus.

tears the night before when he realized it was a school day the next day.

tears as he begged me to drive him.

tears as he begged me to let him stay home.

tears if there was a supply driver.

happy when he came home.

He got better.

he didn't cry about the bus ride anymore.

i talked with his teacher and reailzd he wasn't crying so much at school.

then he got the flu.

he went to school on the wednesday.

he cried all day.

he had a fever that night.

sick all day thursday.

i kept him home on friday.

Monday was not a good morning.

tears were back.

and school was scary again.

thus began the daily tears.

he didn't full out cry about the bus anymore.

He asked every school morning if he could stay home.

I went to pick him up one day.

i talked with his teacher and she was saying that maybe a shorter day would be better for him

for them too - since he cried almost the whole day each day.

he wouldn't participate, except with small groups.

if the tears weren't coming, they were always near the surface.

we decided i'd come each day at 11:30

the hardest transition for him was going outside

i would arrive once they were outside.

the tears were starting to be less,

knowing that i would be coming when he would be outside.

He loved coming home after half a day.

i didn't know how to get him to want to go for longer days.

how did i feel?

my son, the one who loves learning, hated school.

i always heard how smart he was.

i always heard how easy school would be for him.

i knew he was shy.

he usually got better once he understood the routine.

this seemed different.

i felt like a failure.

i felt like i hadn't prepared my kid for entering school.

i cried myself to sleep some nights.

i wanted to cry when i put him on the bus.

i wanted to cry when his teacher suggested sending him half days.

it didn't matter what people said, i still felt that way.

i went to the observation time and had a chance to watch him interact.

I bribed him.

no tears and i'd buy him a rocket popsicle after.

don't judge me.

like you've never bribed your kid at some point.

he cried that day when i was leaving. 

eventhough he knew i'd be back to get him later.

no popsicle.

i talked with his ECE teacher for a while before I left.

in that talk i told her about BEAR.

Bear is the boy's best friend.

he goes everywhere with him.

when he's scared he brings Bear.

Bear doesn't go to school with him.

She told the teacher about Bear

when i picked him up later that morning i had a chance to help elijah pick out a best friend for school.

something that could go outside with him,

somthing that he could hold and bring with him to each aspect of the day.

He picked Jaguar.

a plastic jaguar.

no hesitation.

he knew who he wanted.

Jaguar goes into the boy's cubby when he's not in school.

since that day, the boy asked if he could be picked up later in the day..

then changed his mind and told me that he wanted to take the bus home.

he missed doing that.

I wanted to cry.

I was so thankful to hear my son making that decision on his own.

He started going full days again.

Jaguar is his buddy

sometimes Jaguar doesn't stay with him, but he knows where he is.

he loves school.

his teachers tell me he is full of smiles now.

he is making friends now.

he participates in all class activities.

they are finally meeting the boy i know and love.

will i have a part 4? i think so.  i need to tell you about his amazing teachers.

Oh yeah, he did got that popsicle.  the next day, actually.